the brotherhood
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Dear ball-shaped-hotcakes.blogspot.com,
As of late, it seems that nothing has really been going according to plan.
For one, I'm getting screwed at training more often and speaking of training, I;m suffering more and more injuries.
What could this be?
A sign from above?
When the someone I needed most left, I guess I really lost alot of courage and pardon my arrogance, but I lost a lot of dignity as well.
Yeah, maybe it really wasn't supposed to work out in the first place.
Hmm, to add on to the misery and woe, it seems that my Xbox 360 crashed on me again.
Tough.
Maybe...maybe I've really lost the strength to do many things ever since it happened.
It doesn't seem like anyone's around me anymore.
No one seems to think the way the one did.
When people ask me the same question.
I laugh.
But, it seems that every laugh I make tears me apart from the inside out.
When I look at those sappy love shows, it reminds me of how I would laugh at everything I wrote and did.
But yet.
That one enjoyed it.
I daresay I'm reminded a lot nowadays.
People say it hurts before it gets better.
But he who denies is disillusioned by the fact of reality.
You see the thing is.
I don't think it will. It's a rollercoaster ride from here on.
One with a 500 foot drop.
But for now.
We're only at 5 feet.
I daresay my days may just be numbered.
I really don't know.
500 feet ain't a walk in a park.
It's one hell of a ride.
I'm writing because I think it may clear some air.
I see friends getting into the same situation I once was in.
I fall again.
It makes me really sad, really.
To look at the past again.
But this time.
Knowing it'll never come back.
How come it hurts so much.
It never did with anything else, though.
Well, maybe I'm just trying too hard.
What if...
What if i could get away from all this for just one day.
Just a day free for me to clear out my thoughts.
Maybe it'll work.
Or maybe it'll add salt to the wound.
Sorry dear blog, I know this is a little boring but bear with me yeah?
I sit by the windows gazing,
thinking you know maybe
maybe those thousands of miles away
that one
is sharing
the same thoughts as me.
Maybe
it'll work again.
But that one says
that one says it's time to move on.
It's all really funny how
I wanted it so much
in the first place
and so did
that one.
But
time flies,
seasons pass,
people...
change.
Tears contain salt.
They make the wound worse.
So I tell my self.
Why cry?
